Two of a Kind

Its funny when you are with family you see the things that are similar about you.  For instance my sister and I love all of the same types of food, and we prepare our food the same way, or when we go out to a restraunt we will order the same thing.  When it comes to music though we are completly different she likes punk music and so does my brother, where mom and I like music we can dance to and has a good beat. 
The whole family loves ice cream, everybody does doesnt matter what flavor, we will eat any.  We all dislike onions, tomatoes, and watermelon though, its weird I figured I was just odd like that but my family is like me.  The difference between us though they could care less about politics, yes they have personal beliefs but it doesnt matter to them, where as me if somebody said something about politics that I strongly disagreed with it would start a debate. 
I guess what I mean is no matter if you adopted or not your family can be dissimillar, but a like in minute ways.  I more like my adopted family then I realized, growing up with there values, and beliefs impacts who you are.  One trait I'm glad I did not inheret though, my dad can manipulate people very well, and so can my mom my brother and sister as well why not me.  Common beliefs they way I was raised. 
The impact of my parents I didnt realize until now, but I couldnt be more thankful to be adopted, yes I still love my birth family Im not say I dont like them, but I'm the only one of us that wants to attend college, and who has a job.  Thank you mom and dad for pushing me and morphing me into what I am.

Abusing A Wife

I was asked what I have learned, its not easy to talk about and what happened should not of.  My birth dad was abusive thats what I learned.  He hit my brother once when he was little, punched a whole threw a door right above my sisters head but never hit her.  My birth mom that is a different story.  I was given up for adoption, she wanted me out of that house, away from danger.
Brian my birth dad not a nice guy, hits his wife now, but she won't leave him.  So what did he do to my mom its more like what didnt he do.  Because of Brian my moms medical file is like a novel.  Shattering her wrist in six places, and breaking her arm, or him throwing her threw a plate glass window.  He has cut her with a knife before, thrown her down the stairs, and beat her up many times.
The scars she has on her body now come from a time when she was with him.  The day she decided to give me up for adoption, it was hard but the right thing to do.  Brian and her were fighting, he punched her in the stomach knocking her to the ground, while she was pregnant with me.  He grabbed her by the hair and pulled her up pointed to her stomach and said "I will make her pay for all of the shit that you have done."  By the next day she was looking for families who wanted to adopt.
The abuse didn't stop until she left him several years later, he would still call her and show up occasionally, the order of protection is in place and always will be because Brian is a manipulative SOB. 
Numerous people asked her not to give me up for adoption, but they didnt know the whole situation, and she didnt have a choice.  I thank her now, and am thankful Brian is out of her life now that my brother is over 18.  I'm happy being close to them now knowing I'm safe, then all the years of seperation, pain, and loneliness were worth it.

Being Replaced?

My parents first felt like they would be replaced by my birth family when I was getting really close to them and learning all these new things.  My parents could never be replaced though.  I sat alone thinking about everything, knowing my parents were the ones who took me to the hospital when I was sick, who raised me, who made me into they young woman I am today.  I couldn't forget them, someday they will not be here but I will love them until that day comes.

The saddest thing my mom ever said to me though was "Bree one day I will not be around, and your birth mom Jennifer is a lot younger then me, I'm just hoping she will take care of you, since I won't be able to," only a true mom would say something like that.  Its when the people you love say things like that you face harsh realizations with life.

The dealing with gain, love, and then loss.

Introducing the Boyfriend

This weekend was supposed to be special and memorable.  I took my boyfriend Tim up to meet my birth family for the first time.  I told him they were a little crazy, he believed me and was willing to take on the challenge of meeting them.  We drove up Saturday afternoon, and got there a little before 5.
Then he met my sister, two brothers, birth mom, her husband, and several other friends of the family.  It was a nice day of getting to know each other, sitting outside on the porch talking and taking in the beautiful weather.
Tori is my sisters name and we were celebrating her birthday on Sunday.  Sunday rolled around Ken my birth moms husband made breakfast we all got ready then started decorating.  The boyfriend met everyone else then grandma and grandpa and some cousins.  They all like him compared to my last boyfriend, he was nice helped out, and everybody loved his car.
The day progressed the party started then ended people began to leave, and the drama started.....
There was fighting all night between my birth mom and sister, my birth mom and her husband.  My little brother Noah didn't understand what was going on and needed someone to just comfort him.
I love my family, but when the fighting starts, who do you side with.  I've grown up not knowing these people I cant take sides.  I love them all even if we are a little crazy and we have to prevent people from killing each other.  Overall the weekend was good Tim made a great impression and everybody loved him.
One thing I noticed though each time I go up and get closer to them, its harder to leave.  When you are holding your little brother telling him you have to leave, you begin to want to stay.  I know I had to leave but it still doesn't make it any easier.
I will always love both families.