Escaping From Reality

It didn't matter what I did I couldn't stop thinking about the problems that surrounded me.  I took two days off of work and went up to visit my birth family.  Most of my family was gone besides my birth mom, I went to see her mainly I needed someone to talk to.  It was the best time I had ever spent with her, we watched TV, talked, and went for drives mostly.  I got to fall asleep laying next to her with her stroking my back and running her fingers through my hair.  I got away from everything I needed to just long enough to relax.  We talked about everything and anything from me being pregnant to what my options were.  She comforted me and told me it would be ok and she would support me with whatever I thought was necessary, and that the whole family would do the same.  My older brother knew something was wrong but he didnt know what, he was worried about me, and he just hugged me and it made me feel so much better to be around family, even my little brother just let me hold him and hug him.
I came home, and not long after I got back, last Monday night my boyfriend had to rush me to the emergency room.  I had large amounts of bleeding, due to having a miscarriage from an eptopic pregnancy.   My parents were on vacation, and my family was 10 hours away.  The moment I experienced that feeling of loss, I felt alone.  Yes I had my boyfriend but that only does so much.  I needed and wanted family, I felt as if I was on a different planet then everyone else and no one was around. 
Before I had the miscarriage talking with my birth mom helped to make my decision, I was going to do what she did and give my child up for adoption, one of the hardest things a parent has to experience.  Nothing is the same now my boyfriend treats me differently, I cant tell my mom and dad out of fear of exile, and my birth mom is so far away.  The aloneness I feel is like being in a dark room with no light switch, and no one is there, and no noise is present.